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- Published: 07 May 2017

At one point during my conversation with Mr Gherkin my friend, Miss Honey, came up. I said that if he matched with her, he should message her too since she and I had agreed that we’d both go for our matches, even if we had the same ones.


That’s when Mr Gherkin told me that he ticked yes for Miss Honey but that she didn’t tick yes for him, hence no match. I found this a bit odd since she told me she hardly ticked yes for any guys but that she did tick yes for two people, Mr Gherkin and his friend Mr BMW. Mr Gherkin went on to say that, having found out she was a different cast to him, it was for the best.


In hindsight, I could have corrected him here, but by this point I also started doubting my friend. Did she really tick yes for him or did she get confused? 3 minutes goes really fast during the speed date and the reference numbers can get confusing. Also as bad as it may sound, I questioned whether this was really relevant for Miss Honey since he too, like me, was looking for someone within cast as well as religion.


Tension Unravelling…

One day Miss Honey and I spoke about these recent events to clear the air. During this time, I mentioned that Mr Gherkin checked yes for Miss Honey but that they did not match since she did not do the same. I went on to explain that Mr Gherkin went on to say, having found out she was a different cast to him, it was probably for the best. #dramaunfolds #shitwentdown 

You see, this call didn’t take place until about a week after he and I had spoken about this, so Miss Honey was annoyed that I hadn’t brought this up earlier to her or corrected him, since she told me she checked yes for him.


‘I know you said that, but then he said you didn’t tick back and then he found out you were different cast afterwards anyway and he’s looking within cast, but he did say he that he thinks you’re a nice girl and that you’re really pretty – it’s just the cast thing ‘cause his family’s pretty old school.’


‘Yeah…but this whole time I was kicking myself feeling down about my cast and you basically kept saying, you’re not good enough for him ‘cause you’re a different cast to us.’


By this point I lost my nerve and not in a cool way.


‘I never said that and if you feel that way then that’s more your confidence Honey than anything else. Yes, I told him he could take my number but he said that he was looking within cast & yes, I told you this just now to ensure you didn’t take the cast thing personally, hence why I also told you he did say you’re pretty and nice. And taking the cast thing personally is silly by the way because no cast is better than the others anymore. I waited to tell you because you’ve been so sensitive about the whole thing that whenever I mention anything about that event of Mr Gherkin, I feel like I have to be careful what I say because of your reactions. It’s been about how hard it is for you to find a decent Sikh guy. I feel that way too. Just ‘cause I mask it with positive thoughts, don’t think it’s not there. But I try to stay positive and keep going through the process and finding the silver lining. Then I meet a decent guy which isn’t easy to come by as I’m even more restricted by you. You have free pick over any cast. If anything, that makes it easier for you. There were a room full of Asians out there, but that’s the one negative thing you took and made personal even though it wasn’t personal.


We went on for a while and in the end Miss Honey said she was annoyed but that she didn’t want us to lose our friendship over a guy, but I was also annoyed now.


After that call Miss Honey asked for Mr Gherkin’s email address so that she could apologise for the match mix up. A few days later I received a message from Miss Honey saying that he hadn’t replied to her email and asking whether he’d mentioned anything to me. Once I said he hadn’t, she asked whether I could double check that he received it. Finally, I told her I’m fine with her contacting him however or whenever she wants, but to keep me out of it.


Our friendship pretty much fizzled out after that.