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Disappointment

- Published: 01 January 2017
Disappointment

I would prefer to inform you that despite an unlucky match with Mr Dudley, my dating life became better but let’s face it; if that were the case, my dating life wouldn’t be comical and I’d run out of writing material. Therefore, lucky for you I have several more annoying scenarios covered within this next blog.

 

Mr Paranoid/ Last Minute/ Dishonest

This guy’s worthy of several nicknames but for now I’ll refer to him as Mr Paranoid. I heard of him through my Mum’s work friend, but didn’t receive a message from him for over a month. Remember when I mentioned receiving a message from a guy my parents were trying to fix me up with around the time I was dating Mr Dudley? That was me subtly introducing Mr Paranoid.

 

At the time, I was unaware of what he’s like, so when he messaged (about a week after I received my breakup text) and asked how it was going with Mr Dudley, I replied with a brief, honest answer and suggested he and I get to know each other, now that I’m single again.

 

What went wrong with Mr Paranoid…Got Ten Minutes?

  • When I asked him to confirm that he’s from Hayes he replied defensively, demanding I tell him who shared this information with me, to which I replied, ‘Mums work friend’. His response was ‘oh ok…I just don’t really like sharing personal information about myself’. I wondered what the response to the tough questions would be like…
  • He would always ask me if I was free to meet at the last minute or late at night. I’d refuse simply because he hadn’t given enough notice. On one occasion Mr Paranoid expressed that if I’m free and he’s willing to come down to my area, surely that’s a lack of effort on my part. Guilted, I did meet him once and as a thank you for meeting me at short notice, Mr Paranoid had given me a box of heart shaped chocolates which made me question whether I was judging him too harshly. Although it may have been best to stop talking to him, I continued #sweet #romantic #easilyswayed.
  • I had a mutual friend who confirmed that Mr Paranoid was lying about:
    • His name – he hates his actual name
    • His age – he had to re-take a year at school and was embarrassed about it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but lying about it is #shady
  • He and I had a ‘heated’ conversations…Eventually I noticed that it was becoming a pattern #slowtara #betterlatethannever. Once I realised that I figured that for someone who doesn’t know how to plan to meet up in advance, he certainly has time for ‘dirty talk’. Way to be an #oblivious #pushover Tara. After which, I finally broke it off.
  • On Valentine’s day, he messaged unexpectedly to say ‘hope you’re having a good day’. Why not just say Happy Valentine’s day? Maybe at this point I’m reading too much into this because I ended up disliking him so much, but it’s almost as though he had a point to prove by going out of his way to not specifically wish a Happy Valentine’s Day.
  • Mr Paranoid knew I was going to a Sikh speed dating event on Valentine’s day and on that very same day he messaged asking me how I am. I ignored him, only to find out he was at the same Sikh speed dating event that day (he just didn’t mention it to me). When it was his turn to sit at my table he then had the nerve to make me feel guilty about not replying and going to a speed dating event to which I replied that I had nothing to feel guilty about. I was not intentionally keeping my attendance to the event a secret from him as I had no reason to hide it since we had ended things between us.
  • On that same night, our mutual friend let it slip to Mr Paranoid that he had told me the truth about some of his lies. Mr Paranoid apparently got angry about this and started threatening to fight him. At this point, I couldn’t be more convinced I’d made the right decision #lucky #grateful #dodgedabullet

 

Mr Ambiguous

This one was short lived. We had one call which went well but the guy seemed a bit keen. He had 2 people in his profile picture. When I asked him to clarify which one he was he replied with ‘does it matter’ and advised me not to be so superficial.

 

However, it did matter as I was not attracted to one of those guys. As my luck had it, he was the guy I wasn’t attracted to #ownyourlooks #dontwastetime. I’ve been turned down for not being attractive enough and I find it’s like a band aid – rip it off and #getitoverwith. Send the picture quickly to find out if it’s a yes or no. It’s better to do this before either of you becomes attached. There’s no need to ‘long it out’ as the youngsters say. Besides I’ve learnt it’s best not to take it personally; just because someone isn’t attracted to you it doesn’t mean you’re unattractive. You were just simply not their type – just as certain guys/ girls may not be your type. It’s #nothingpersonal so don’t let it bring you down J.

 

Mr Timeline

This one was also short lived. Mr Timeline is not too dissimilar to Mr Siddah in that he’s fairly straight laced. However, he was also open to being with someone different to him (as he explained to my Dad over the phone after finding me on the Gurdwara list).

 

He had a very clear timeline of his future. He was 27 years old and wanted to get married by the age of 28. Therefore he was surprised when he realised I would want to know someone for a minimum of a year (ideally a few years) as he thought you get an idea of whether you want to be with someone after a few months. Of course you may have an idea, but just like with any good test you need longevity to be 100% sure. Furthermore, once you’re engaged it’s all about mixing with the other side of the family and planning for the wedding. I’d like to build more relationship stage memories first to help strengthen the sturdiness of the relationship so that, come the wedding prep/ marriage stage, if things are difficult I know it will be worth fighting for. Also, by that stage I’d have felt we enjoyed the lighter stages of getting to know each other beforehand.

 

It was clear to say that I didn’t fit into his timeline. Married within 6 months and kids within 2 years…The sheer thought of this panicked me, plus we were clear opposites, and not in the attractive #oppositesattract way.

 

That’s all for now folks.

 

XOXO

Source: tarasdatingdiary.wordpress.com

TaraBains



Talesofyour20s

Thank you for sharing :)


Thank you for reading :)

TaraBains



Talesofyour20s

Thank you for sharing :)


Thank you for reading :)

Talesofyour20s



Thank you for sharing :)